Eulogy 3

a note on agreements made after an alcohol fueled fight of pent up grievances

The Lover is Always the First Suspect

“You know if he goes missing they will suspect you first”

Oh the wise words of an older sister seeing the end of the relationship before me. I don’t know how you refer to that week in Bermuda but I affectionately call it “Breakup Cruise 2006”. It’s a recounting that has delighted many hearts along the way, they don’t so much laugh at your expense but more so blanche at my bluntness.

“You broke up with him on a cruise?!”

I couldn’t help it, we said we would discuss it all when we got back to Bayonne but you had to bring it up, your face so hopeful that this was the right thing to do! And my face, saying all the things that very quickly my mouth said as well. Did you so swiftly forget how we verbally berated and tore down one another six tiny nights ago? How so many people heard every word of disdain we tossed at each other?

How we both meant what we said ?

Euolgy 2

or how you never got to be an ex-lover

Town Gossip

Good people sometimes say terrible things. Even to people they value, or at least claim to value. You were easily the most obnoxious man to date, not dangerous, just sloppily annoying. Snide remarks passed as sarcasm and good fun. It wasn’t. You were mean. You so badly wanted the juicy story to be that I was a prude, but the real  gossip was that your balls smelled like old dairy wrapped in a dirty gym sock. 

Eulogy 1

or thoughts on all my ex-lovers

Duty

You were unremarkable in the way only young men can be. Confident, cocky, and wholly forgettable. We clumsily fucked until you were spent, and happy, and euphoric. I wish I could say you were charming or astonishingly handsome but I cannot. You were scared. The next morning your life would change in ways that cannot be specifically foreseen. I hope the collective always celebrates you on Veterans Day and not Memorial Day, but for me you will always only be a duty I served to my country.